Being Nice

Which is harder?

Being nice or being a dick?

For me being nice is less involved. Sure it takes time to help someone out. But I think there is a higher cost associated with being a prick. Don't get me wrong, if I can't help, I apologize and move on (I am a very frank person). If I wanted to be a dick (which in some cases is justified), I would have to think of something snappy to say (for me it isn't hard haha), make crap up and find some way to spite the other person. LAZY.

Being nice is easy. And it helps develop character and leadership. Sure you can have leadership by fear (traditional boss who strains vocal chords regularly). But again that is demoralizing and takes too much effort (as well as physical toll - age faster, pop veins, etc). But I won't babble on about management theories (oh I could go on! - Management is a great passion of mine - interrelates real well with the person I am). It also builds respect. Currently, I have a rather visible injury (my right hand) and my co-workers ask about it every morning. Oh how's it feeling? How's it feeling? They even joke about it and are empathetic if I am in pain. It creates a culture as well because I am exactly like that when one of them is down as well. We all know it's nothing too serious (umm tendonitis fucking hurts!) but it's nothing life threatening. But we ask anyways. Sure it may be cordial. It's definitely a conversation starter. We joke about it all the time. My property manager asked about it and when I told her about it she advised me to stay off the computer more (everyone knows my hardware '1337ness' I guess) and when I just grinned back (in a fiendish manner), she quipped back and said "yeah right huh?". I in turn replied, "Psh this stop me? Come on now!". Sure informal relationship of leaser and tenant but such a small act increased my respect for the other.

Small things add up fast.

Also today, I learned once again why it is important never to burn bridges. I personally prefer to build bridges (and maintain relationships with everyone I know). Very few people in my lifetime has prompted me to 'napalm the bridge' and sever ties. Future is never certain and you never know when you may be in need. As much as one would like not to believe, very few things in life (or in this world for the matter) can happen without another. You never know who that other is.

On a side note, a buddy of mine (Abe), has a buck on his car's center console. When we were at this burger joint just now (XXX Rootbeer - Ugh I had their huge ass burger and it's gonna sustain me till tomorrow LOL) I asked him what the heck. Why does he have that. he said that was his "Hobo Dollar" to give to the panhandlers at random intersections. Fascinating.

Relations

Howdy dear internet populace!

I just felt like typing about a conjecture I have in regards to human relations. No not the kinda thing a HR department has. More like person to person kinda thing.

From what I have gathered from the people who have known me a while, I say it's somewhat reasonably safe to say that I am a pretty nice person. Probably above average.

But at what point does one try help another without intruding on the person? Is giving help intruding on someone? Is receiving help a sign of weakness? I'm sure there are points that could swing it either way.

Human relations to be broadly defined (well its my term haha) is when two people come together and work towards something (usually a common goal). The means and manner are irrelevant (very broad scope right now - trees in the woods not wood on the trees) for my purposes right now. No one person is ever the same (although they may share the same interests, etc). As such when two people sit down to do something together, friction almost definitely arises to whatever degree. This is always the case regardless of the level of involvement.

You always care about people you know. The level of involvement always dictates to the lengths you would go to in caring for that person. Obviously I would not care and help a 'normal' friend to the same level as I would to say close family and a significant other right?

Also there are some intersecting common areas between helping and caring. But what is my personal distinction? Caring is helping someone in whatever shape or form with out a desire for reciprocity. It is an act of betterment that one engages in expecting nothing in return. Helping for me is more of a favor. Some understood form of future payback is usually associated. Care is an act of giving for the prime sake of betterment.

But at what point does caring and helping intrude on one another? Is there such a distinction? Unwanted help surely does exist. But care? Caring is something the world needs more of. It's the warm fuzzy blanket in the solemn grey cold and wet days. Care is what makes a person rise above and accomplish things that are not needed by anyone yet benefits them if done. No one needs to really help the sick and needy. If no one lends a helping hand, they will carry on as is, but if someone stops by and goes "hey, I can do something here", then whatever little is done, it is still a little bit better. Care, as with most other good virtues is one of those things that people do not lose anything if nothing is done but plenty to gain if someone does something about it. Sure it may be an intrusion to a certain degree, but it ultimately makes things better. Better is good right?

So where am I going with this? No where really. I just felt like talking about it.

Thanks for reading.